25 June 2014
25 June 2014

A lawn? Shame on you!

It’s time for the ultimate urban/suburban paradigm shift.

No longer will John Q. Public hang his head in shame because his carpet of green isn’t quite as perfect as his neighbor! No longer will the lawn be the visible status symbol it once was (c’mon, this is 2014, not 1965!) No longer will homeowners spend Saturday mornings at the local home improvement store contemplating which products to buy, most of which are far more destructive than beneficial (ground water contamination, fossil fuel use, transportation, soil degradation, runoff water contamination…).

Be ashamed of having a lawn! In fact, the better it looks, the more embarrassed you should be! Hey, there’s nothing quite like social pressure to cause people to change their buying habits! This sort of thing worked on that icon of resource-wasting: the Hummer.

Remember how ubiquitous the Hummer was several years ago (part of the SUV invasion of Los Angeles)? I won’t bash SUV drivers, but how many of you have since scaled down without so much as a LaCrosse stick being left behind due to lack of cargo space?

Back to the point: we need to make a healthy green lawn the new Hummer! If people see themselves being judged by their neighbors for the grotesque misuse of a very important and scarce resource, maybe it would shame them into removing said lawn. And word would spread through the neighborhood faster than an affair on Wisteria Lane.

I need a campaign slogan, something really catchy so people will jump on the bandwagon.



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